difficult /ˈdɪfɪklt/
adjective
needing much effort or skill to accomplish, deal with, or understand.
(of a person) not easy to please or satisfy; awkward. "Jane could be difficult."
Where there are people, there are difficult situations.
It doesn't matter which church, worship, or creative team you choose; we all have people with unique personalities and idiosyncrasies. This is all well and good, but what do you actually do with these people?
How do you deal with them?
Over the years, it seems I've become a magnet for difficult people. You know the ones. You have them in your church, too. They're the people that most of your team ignore, try to avoid, or talk about behind their back.
Sometimes these people are complex and intentionally challenging; other times, and I would say mostly, they have no idea they're doing it. Then again, sometimes they're nasty, and at different times they're stubborn and unwilling to play as a team member.
Some people are complex because of trauma, abuse, or difficult life circumstances. We need wisdom to know how to deal with the different scenarios and not create more chaos than we can handle.
Some of the most brutal experiences of my life have been times when I've had the responsibility to come alongside and pastor difficult people. Having said that, they have also been ranked as some of the most encouraging when the situations have turned around. I'm sure you can relate.
Dealing with difficult people isn't easy, but it is a reality of leadership, and no one ever said leading people was easy. It takes tenacity, courage, kindness, and a good dose of surrendering all situations to God.
Negativity has a way of infecting the whole group. It doesn't matter whether it's opinions about rosters, leadership, or a lazy attitude; the difficult person's approach to these scenarios in the team and in life can have a detrimental impact.
The easy thing would be to ignore the situation, but sticking your head in the sand is possibly the worst thing you can do. The long-term effects can be devastating.
Often, a trait of a good pastor is being conflict-averse. Bear this in mind as you keep reading. Usually, the rest of the team is looking to you as the leader to take the initiative, be bold, and do something that brings about change. And sometimes that involves facing situations you’d rather avoid.
So what do you do?
As I reflect on the various ways I've approached this area of ministry, I realize there are countless answers to this question. At times, I've done it well; at other times, I've learned what not to do.
Below, I've listed some thoughts that are worth considering as you steward and guide the people in your care. I’m confident they will help you as you endeavor to faithfully lead others.