When Presence Isn’t Actually On The Setlist
And what 20 years of regret taught me about ministry.
I was at a wedding with some pastors. They were the “special guests”
The bride and groom had gone out of their way to include them.
And about an hour into the reception they asked me how much longer I thought the wedding would last.
I was shocked!
The newlyweds hadn’t even had dessert, cut the cake, danced their first dance, and yet their pastors were ready to leave.
And I get it.
Pastors go to a lot of weddings.
What a drag.
No! What a gift!
They wanted to leave right when they should have relished being there!
Then there was the time I didn’t even show up…
I remember sitting at my desk, conference was approaching, the weekends were consumed with preparation and getting ready to host thousands of delegates from around the world.
I know it was important… and I felt the pressure of it. I was running the events department and I felt like everything was on my shoulders. So what happened? I didn’t show up for one of my best friend’s weddings.
I couldn’t get the weekend off, I couldn’t make it to Melbourne and back to Sydney before the conference started and so I missed it.
It wasn’t entirely my decision, but to be honest I have regretted missing that wedding for the last 20 years.
And since then, it has shaped how I think about the moments that matter most.
Presence
We go hard after it in worship services. The Presence of God that is.
It seems to be all everyone is talking about these days.
So we craft the perfect set, dim the lighting, roster the right teams, the right worship leader, and the right band. And then we wait and linger in God’s presence.
But here’s the kicker:
When it comes to life, to being present for the people we lead, there is no roster. There's no one dimming the lights to let you know that this is the moment.
And it’s so easy to miss those moments. We forget that our presence at the right times, can make all the difference to you and your team.
The moment the phone rang…
Life had been imploding. The voice from my teenage years boomed down the phone “Cass, it’s Chris.”
My former pastor turned up. At a moment I needed someone, anyone, he called. He didn’t have to, but he did. He wasn’t even responsible for me any more.
A real shepherd…. a pastor. And again it reminded me of what matters most.
If you are going to lead people at a Church then you have to be attentive to the real lives of the ones you are shepherd over, even if you don’t have the pastor title.
You have to listen for nuance.
Pay attention.
And be willing to show up.
Even if it’s not convenient.
There are so moments in my life that weren’t convenient.
These dates won’t mean anything to you…
23 December
4 February
10 March
18 June
But they are indelibly written in my memory. They’re about hospital emergencies, birthday parties and life-changing intersections for people in our world. Personal, private moments.
All times when they needed someone to turn up. Someone to represent Jesus walking into their situation right at that moment.
But how do you do it?
We’ve learn’t, often the hard way, how to juggle the realities of all the responsibilities of doing the work, while also leading and pastoring a growing team.
How can you do it all? How can you turn up and be there for everyone? How do you not miss things and create regret for yourself and those in your team?
We’ve worked out the key elements that most worship and creative leaders and pastors get wrong. Here’s the major issues.